BMW software help?????

Hello again, to start off I am not looking for actual software or anything like that. I most likely wouldn't know how to use it even if I had it. That's not to say I would not, in the future, try some sort of software but currently I am only looking to educate myself as to what all of these acronyms you guys keep throwing around actually are and what the hell they do. If anyone out there could take a moment of your time to please explain in detail what ICOM, INPA, Carsoft, Vag etc actually are? What they do? What the differences between them are? Benefits and Cons between them? Are they just software or hardware or whole systems? Do they usually come with the hardware or can they be used with any hardware? Please don't answer they read codes. No s**t they read codes I can tell that but why one over the other? I don't imagine BMW dealers use different types between them. I assume they all use one type of software at all authorized BMW dealers right? Is it just personal preference? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

BMW software help?????